SSD 40


It all started. . .  way long ago.  Eight years ago for Duane I believe, but only 2 1/2 for me.  I read the book that started it all for Duane – Inside Out that winter.  We also watched The Soul Care Experience video series that winter.  Brother-in-law, Jason, had been at SSD 30 something, the previous fall.  And our hearts were stirred to attend ourselves.  Then, that summer I met the author and his wonderful wife by complete surpise at work.  They were looking for some good food and I was in the business of serving good food.  A couple emails and two years later. . .

"I want to talk about what it might mean for us to turn our chairs toward each other and pour out the life in our hearts into our brothers and sisters, and to let them pour into us." -L Crabb

And for a week, under the teaching of Larry Crabb, in the presence of an incredible group of believers, we attempted to “turn our chairs”.  I was so blessed by so many people that week.

When asked to share our “red dot” the first evening, my mind when into a tailspin.  See, my “red dot” at the moment, wasn’t very pretty.  It was three weeks to the day, that Duane’s mom had passed away, and I was pretty much a mess.  I tried to think of something less messy to share about, but nothing was coming together, because the fact was, I was a mess that night.  But in the middle of that mess, I was hopeful and so at peace, as well.  A paradox, if you don’t know Jesus.  That night, I was at a place of extreme grief and sorrow, but also hopeful about life, because we had just had one of the most encouraging weekends with some dear friends in Atlanta.  So that’s kinda what spilled out that night in a few short sentences.  Later on at break, Larry said to Duane and I, “this is gonna be a good week for you guys”, and even more hope settled in a place deep in my soul.

And yep, he was right.  It was a good week.  If I wanted to, I could “data dump” on here, but it would be pointless, cause half of it probably wouldn’t make sense.  So instead, I shall highligh a few of my favorite moments.

-There was the one breakfast I shared with a dear lady who “heard” my story and understood.  And who cared for me enough to tell her story.

-Then there was the lady who literally teared up when Duane & I told her the story of his mom’s sickness and death.  Her tears somehow validated my pain.  Not that I needed it validated, but confirmed that, yes, we did go through something very difficult and worthy of many tears.

-My spiritual director whom I want to move into the house next door.  I want to be around her more.  She stirred up good stuff inside of me.  And goodness, she could read me.  Maybe I wear it all on my face.  But I did really enjoy being in her presence.

-Larry & Rachael Crabb.  I loved the classes – seeing him interact with people.  The small little moments of personal interacting that Duane and I had with him.  And his beautiful wife, Rachael.  I loved sitting at the same table at meal times with her and hearing her tell stories.

-Campfire night.  Up on a mountain overlooking a beautiful valley.  Gorgeous sunset.  Smores.  Camp songs.  Good stories.

– the worship times.  So meaningful.

– Game nights.  A fun way to relax and enjoy each other.  We had some crazy nights.  “One, Two, lets play zoo.”

– And the things I learned are endless.  Except that I hardly feel I can say that I learned anything.  I feel like I’m still chewing over and “learning” the things God was revealing to me that week.  Things like:  what it means to be truly feminine (so much to learn); learning to dance with the Trinity;  becoming aware of my spirit of entitlement (my demanding spirit);  the fact that I don’t like to move forward in mystery – I prefer to have things figured out.

We feel blessed, Duane & I do, for having had the opportunity to go to SSD.  And I believe it was God ordained that we attended this particular one – SSD 40.



  1. Jeanne Hooker  •  Jul 3, 2011 @12:06 am

    Thanks for reflecting on that special week. Thank you for letting me see glimpses of your beautiful heart. Thanks for answering all my questions… =)


  2. Lucy  •  Jul 3, 2011 @3:17 am

    Answering your questions? I’m curious how I did that.

  3. Martha Glick  •  Jul 4, 2011 @5:52 pm

    So glad you got to go to SSD. and I’m thankful for the pieces of learning that you have shared with me.

  4. Christy  •  Sep 2, 2011 @8:35 pm

    I’m so glad to have heard a little about your week, and would have loved to hear even more. I’m happy for you that you were able to experience this week.

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