Browsing the blog archives for September, 2012.

Will I Dance?


We are now officially approved.  The adoption process seemed overwhelming at first, but once we dug into the paperwork, we found that it was quite managable.  Along the process, there have been really exciting moments, but alot of paperwork drugery.  Some fun interviews where we learned more about each other, about us, but alot of work.

So now that we dropped off the final paper work and we are offficially “waiting”, excitement and freaking out have come to hang out with me.  We don’t know how long the waiting will be.  Hoping and Dreaming are dancing in my heart and aren’t being very resonable when Caution suggests to them, that it might be a long time – many, many, many months – till their dance is fulfilled.    So I let them dance and try to pretend that I’m not dancing with them.  Living a protected life isn’t really fulfilling anyway, they remind Caution.  But Caution is afraid of wounds – afraid of brokeness.

Such a war.  If Hoping and Dreaming win, I potenially get hurt.  But if I allow Caution to win, I miss the joy of the dance.  I live protected, but I lose joy.  Hoping and Dreaming, I think I’m giving you this one.