So what is a servant. I, for a number of years now, have had a dislike for the word “servant” – for what it typified in my mind. Servant meant “someone who bustles around getting lots of stuff done, always, cooking, cleaning, baking, doing something for someone;  full of good deeds for people.”  And I felt justified in not being this kind of servant, cause I was more of a relational person. I was a “Mary” in a world full of annoying “Martha’s” so busy “serving”.  And I didn’t even want to be called a servant – it looked unattractive, bossy, uncaring, unfulfilling – just busy.  But my view of a servant has been shaken up pretty much lately.

We had over-night guests a few weeks ago, and I did what I like doing for guests – I made sure there bedroom accomodations were satifactory, made sure they knew where the towels were, cooked up some (what I hoped was) favorable food. These weren’t things I felt obligated to do because, after all, the Bible says we should serve others. These were things I wanted to do, because I cared. I wanted my guests to feel comfortable, filled, content, & welcome. When my Bro-in-law made a big deal about everything I was doing for them, I kinda shrugged it off, but a funny feeling was aroused somewhere deep with in me. Then when my husband later used the word “servant” to describe me and the things I was doing, many mixed up emotions surfaced.

“He called me a “servant”?!?  “Have I really attained servant status?”  ”Do I really even want to be a servant?”

And then a friend commented that I have a heart of servanthood. These comments messed with me so much, cause I didn’t like what my definition of a servant looked like.

And I wonder. . . Is being a servant more then bustling about doing good things?

Is it possibly servant-like to:
> Listen to someone when they just need to talk
> To take time away from “doing good things” to make a child feel important/special

Yes, I believe it is also servant-like to do “good things” for others. But I’m served best when you take the time to sit down and drink coffee with me, as opposed to spending hours in the kitchen to put on a good meal for me that we can’t even enjoy together as you dash around to serve me.

I wonder what a servant really is?  I wonder if I am a servant?   And I wonder if I am ok being called a servant?

It’s the weather, I know it.  Makes me think that I’m super woman and can handle like 20 projects in one week.  I got home from work last-night and it was so beautiful and I was immediately inspired to burn the trash.  And then right on top of that inspiration, came a new one – trim the hedges.  And as I walked around the farm (I like using that word.  Makes me feel so country), I decided that, yes, I’m definitely going to try to squeeze a garden in before we move.  And I decided that I’m going to do flower beds again so we can enjoy them before we move.  And since the neighbors moved I have the opportunity to take care of way more flower beds and I think I will.  And the one flower bed has a bit of ditch in it (remnants of an actual ditch that was dug to put electric underground) so I will dig up soil from the garden to fill it in so I can make the flower bed look really nice.  And I’m ready to till the garden.

Burning the trash was sadly the only project I accomplished last-night and sadly, that one wasn’t even completed.  Burning the trash is not something I’ve done in the last year and 11 months.  We don’t have a designated place to burn trash here (other then the barrel our neighbors used) so it always went to my dads place and my brother burned it.  It tended to pile up in our outside brick-oven room.  (One time we actually filled a whole plastic mattress bag with our trash bags.  Duane was kinda proud of our huge trash bag.  I was kinda embarrassed of our huge trash bag).  We hadn’t quite accumulated that much this time, but I decided to burn it since our neighbors have moved and the barrel is now free for us to use.  Only problem was it was so full of previous trash that hadn’t ever been burned, so I could only burn one bag at a time as I tried to burn down through the old wet stuff.  It was going great until my barrel began to disinigrate (very old barrel).  I kept burning until the hole in the side of the barrel had reached approx. 8″x20″.  It was also beginning to get dark by that point so, I thought I’d better stop.  Two bags left – guess they’ll go to dad’s place since the barrel is pretty much past it’s usable years.  Poor it.

As I stared into the burning embers of trash, I pondered the fact that I really will miss this farm.  And I decided to clean up my life of everything I can possibly sweep out of it, so I can spend all week (when I’m not at work or Philly Bible Study) digging soil, planting flowers, pulling weeds, trimming hedges, planting potatoes, picking peppers, making fresh salsa, and of course, burning trash. 

And all the sudden the fact that we can’t move just yet is a very good thing.

My family doesn’t really have major traditions other then picking a date and getting together for a large feast and bonding with the family.  Duane’s family has more traditions going on, down to even what they eat.  (I guess my family has a food tradition - my Grandma’s potatoe filling)  After a huge meal of ham (I forget the other meat) and a bunch of side dishes, the family kinda scatters to do there own thing.  Some going for walks out the lane (it’s warm in Texas), some heading to the pond, some playing games, etc.  Then we gather mid afternoon into the family room – pack everyone in.  Sing some songs, the kids do little performances, and then the fun part.  Grandma & Grandpa walk out of the room and the Grandkids get all giddy (some of the Aunts & Uncles get giddy, too) because we all know what that means – the gifts are coming.  It begins to get a little crazy then, as gifts are exchanged all around.

Now Duane & I . . .  we aren’t really sure how to have traditions.   So far our tradition has been to pick a day, any day of the month, and exchange our gifts.  Last year it was at “the park bench”, this year it will be in our cozy little christmasy living room.  The year before last, I think it was in a random empty room at the mission with nothing Christmasy in sight.  The year before that neither of us gave each other gifts – that was a sad year.

One tradition we do have, is to go visit our bench yearly, but that doesn’t even always happen the same day.

November 28, 2007  The year us forever was decided.

December 6, 2008  The year we exchanged our Christmas gifts in the snow.

November 20, 2009  The year we went there, just to celebrate – to celebrate us and to celebrate the purchase of our house.  Our bench got an addition from last year – the annoying divider in the middle.

Maybe we’ll eventually come up with a Christmas tradition, but personally, I like the randomness of Christmas.  One year being with his family on Christmas, the other year with mine, and each year with both at some point.  And in the midst of that finding time to do our own personal gift exchange, as well as celebrate this time of the year with friends from Texas to PA.

But the bench tradition is something I want to hang onto.  I hope we do that till we’re old and gray.

-crazy
-annoying
-strange
-bookworm
-poet
-photographer
-amazing

As much as we can tell each other off, and at times annoy each other, I have been known to say at various times concerning various things, that she’s the one that “gets me”.  And the thing is, we have differing opions at times, but she’s still the one who “gets me” and I can say just about any crazy thing and she won’t really thing that I”m crazy.  She’s o.k. with it.  She’s fine with me.  I like her a lot.

And as calm and mature as she looks most times, that’s not always the case. 

We connect.  Sometimes as very mature adults.  And sometimes it’s our immaturity that forms the bond.

Right now, I’m amazed at God.  I’m amazed at how God works and orchestrates things in our lives and presents oportunities to us that cause us to make decisions that He uses for His purposes, in His time.

And I’m amazed, because the girl I saw today, didn’t seem like my sister.  It was a passionate God-filled woman who has taken up the “sword” and is fighting for truth.  Now, I’m not saying that my sister is not normally God-filled, or that she doesn’t take up the “sword” and fight for right things on a regular basis, but there is something different about it this time.  She is being so brave and bold and going places I didn’t really expect her to go.  I didn’t know what to say.  I just listened in amazement as words came out of her mouth.  She’s passionate about what she’s fighting for, but by the grace of God, she’s fighting for it in love.  She’s brave.

I just pray that she doesnt’ become mortally wounded in the fight.  I’m sure wounds will come (they already have), but I pray that they don’t kill her spirit.  Praying most of all that God wins. 

p.s.  you’re my hero, Michele.

Duane & I were looking forward to this trip for a number of reasons.
-we were looking forward to spending time with our traveling companions
-were going to see a brother and a nephew
-connecting with the Shirk’s again
-sitting under the sound of a very wise teacher, learning, growing, etc.

We weren’t dissappointed, to say the least.

We enjoyed being tourists on Friday.  Thanks to Eugene’s Aunt & Uncle, we had wheels for the day and got around quite well.  First stop – the original facebook. 

This little girl is such a cheese. 

We got a free tour of the Heinese Cheese place and a load of free samples.

We stayed in Little Switzerland a.k.a. Sugar Creek.  Learned so so much.  We couldn’t take it all in.  I’d try to take notes, but then I’d miss the next thing he was saying.  RVL is an amazing teacher.  The Word became more alive. 

The weekend was so inpsiring
-  I came to a better understanding of the word Shalom and long for the return of Shalom to this Chaos we live in.
- Realized again that God doesn’t want any to perish.  He even wanted the Egyptians AND Pharoah to know him.
- So grateful the just the finger of God is more powerful then any force of evil.
- I will never be able to experience Communion in quite the same way.  Jesus took the 5th cup – the cup of God’s wrath.

The weekend made me want to become a disciple.  It definitely gave me more of a desire for the Word.  The Old Testament is way more exciting then I ever thought.  So much good stuff.  I want to take it all in.  RVL has scripture memorized like crazy.  I want to get the Word in.

This little girl was so exhausted by the end of the day.  She’s pretending to sleep at the dinner table. 

Traveling in the R-V thanks to my grandfather.  The little miss loved the “bus”.  We all did actually.  It was an awesome way to travel.

Orion must have something powerful to say – probably just expressing his feelings about the phillies losing.

It was so fun to be able to connect with the Shirks a bit.  It was much to short but well worth our time.  Got to see and hear more about there world.

Most of us hate pain. We hate all pain. We hate pain all the time. Thing is pain is actually a good thing. It notifies us that something is not right. I’m thankful for the pain Duane & I were experiencing the other night. Had we not had pounding headaches, we would not have opened the windows, and quite possible could have been overcome by the Carbon Monoxide fumes that were in our home. Two days later, with a Carbon Monoxide alarm now in our possession, we are headache free and mostly carbon monoxide free.

So the other day, I got my self in a bit of a predicament. My attitude amazed me. I called on Jesus to bail me out.

-God, please let the lights be green
-God, please freeze time, make it stop
-God, I need that map to upload NOW
-God, help us find a parking place

I was about 5-10 minutes away from the place I needed to be when I realized how demanding I was being. I had got my self into the mess and just expected God to come along, pick up the pieces, and make it all right.

So I attempted to change my attitude and become a more thankful person. I thanked God for. . .

- a new day
-work, a job to go too
-an understanding boss
-that He DID make all the lights green
-the extra half hour of sleep I got (in an almost embarrassed tone)

And then I did ask God for one thing yet – that He would find us a parking place in Downingtown. And He did, and my boss only got there maybe 5 minutes before I did. And we only got to market five minutes later then usual. And I hope I never over-sleep again. And I’m thankful that God fights for me even when I’m being self-centered.

The next day I DID get to sleep in. Only had to be at market at 11:30 – Bliss!!!

How deep the Father’s love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

“worth-ship”  or giving worth to something.  Hmm.  So we say we worship God.  We give worth to Him?  That doesn’t seem right.  Maybe it is that in worship we are giving our worth to Him.  Whatever the case. . .

We gathered, we worshipped.
The roof top at night.
Few stars, many city lights.
Some music, some conversation.
Some solutide.

Bible School has been pretty amazing.  My thinking has been challenged and stretched.  What I prayed for is happening, but I didn’t know that it would look like this.  The Spirit of God is working, challenging people.  And God is magnified.  Teachers who didn’t know if they could do it, are thriving.  It’s been an amazing first week.  And here we are at the start of a new week and I’m waiting excitedly to see what the Lord will do.

Moses has been coming to Bible School every night, I believe.

So what do you think of our t-shirts.  I think they’re pretty cool.  I know the designer.

My parents and most my siblings (Myron, you’re a sibling) came down for church Sunday morning.  We went out for a picnic lunch, along with two of Chad’s friends Jon and Brandon.  We weren’t out long, but it was cool seeing family again and being out by the river.

And my darling neice.

. . .I have been blessed

. . .as long as I live I will love you

To celebrate a year of marriage we went to Ocean City Md.  We both love the ocean, so it was a perfect vacation for us.  We stayed in this cool hotel that was shaped like a lighthouse.   The hotel was on the bay, but it was only a two block walk to the ocean.   We spent a good part of the one day out there, enjoying the view and journaling.

I like adventure, but at the same time I’m not much of a risk taker.  I like to play it safe.  So when we go out for dinner, I usually like to go some place familiar.  Only problem in Ocean City, was that there weren’t a lot of chain restaurants that I was familiar with, unless you were into fast food.  So we took a risk and went to this Italian family owned restaurant.  Oh my, it was a risk worth taking.  The food was phenomenal.  I don’t believe I ever used the term “bursting with flavor” before that evening.  Yummy garlic bread with an appetizer salad, followed my our entree’s of Chicken Scampi, and Mushroom something smothered chicken for Duane.

There was a deck right out at the bay.  We enjoyed watching the sunset while consuming complimentary cookies, coffee, and hot chocolate.